Sis, leave the other woman alone. Your husband wasn’t kidnapped

By Rama Tulai

Every time a married man cheats or brings in another, some of us immediately assemble an FBI task force… against the other woman.

“She snatched my husband.”

Snatched him how exactly?

Let’s be honest. Grown men know exactly what they’re doing.

They see something they want, and they make a decision. We may not like the decision, but it is still their decision.

One of the most liberating places a woman can reach in marriage is when she understands these three truths:

1. You can never keep a man by your side because of everything you DO for him.
   You can cook like a five-star chef, pray like a prophetess, and iron his khaftans until they salute…

JONGHEL beh liu nak!.

A man doesn’t stay because you exhausted yourself proving your worth deh.

2. Having a man to yourself is never more important than your sanity.
   If keeping him means losing yourself, you’ve paid far too high a price.

I will never stop saying this. The quality of your relationship can never exceed the amount of work you’ve done on yourself.

3. The only time a man stays is when he chooses to.
   What influences that choice is his responsibility, not yours. You can influence a relationship, but you cannot control another human being.

As women, we spend too much energy policing other women instead of protecting our own peace.

The woman who “took your husband” didn’t create his character. She simply met the version of him that made a choice.

It’s not like he was sitting, minding his own business with his eyes locked in the direction of Cassamance…..

and suddenly someone grabs his hand and takes him away. Tijil sa bott sohnasi…

And this is exactly why I help women to stop over-functioning and trying to control outcomes.

Peace begins the day you realise you were never meant to manage another adult’s decisions.

So before you start drafting that paragraph for the “husband snatcher,” maybe draft one for your therapist… or at least naanal ndokh bu sedda.

What do you think? Have we unfairly placed too much blame on women while removing accountability from men?

Please share this with a sister you believe needs it today.

About the author
Rama Tulai is a feminine energy coach and writer who helps high-achieving women break free from overfunctioning and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships without losing themselves. Follow Rama Tulai on Facebook for more practical insights, and tap Subscribe to join The Cherished Woman Circle for exclusive articles, coaching, and conversations designed to help you embrace softness with confidence.

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