A woman opened a door for me recently, and it made me think about all the doors we could be opening for each other

By RamaTulai

When I lived and worked in The Gambia, I used to feel a tiny bit anxious walking into an institution and realising I was about to be served by another woman.

And I’m not exaggerating.

I could walk in smiling, greeting politely, behaving like the well-raised African woman that I am…

Sukkal leen rek, morma daan desseh. 🤓

…and somehow, the atmosphere would still change.

Sometimes it was the look.

From my shoes all the way up to my head. 👀

Other times, it was the tone.

Before I became accustomed to it, I’d walk away thinking:

“Wait… did I do something to this woman?”

Bank.

Supermarket.

Government office.

Hospital.

Sis, sometimes it felt like dama rey nit.🤷🏽‍♀️

I remember being at a hospital reception once, speaking to a woman for about five minutes.

She was giving me serious “please don’t disturb my peace” energy.

Then another patient walked in.

Suddenly…

THE SMILE.

The warmth.

The laughter.

I thought, Ahakenj…So the smile is actually available? 😂

I couldn’t help myself.

I said:

“I didn’t know you had such a beautiful smile.”

She looked at me, slightly shocked.

I smiled.

And we carried on.

Thankfully, I’ve also met women who have been incredibly kind to me.

One experience in particular has stayed with me.

About a year and a half ago, I became more active on social media through my coaching work.

Then, about two months ago, I received a message from Fatu Camara, founder of The Fatu Network.

I already knew Fatu as a public figure.

Who doesn’t know Fatu? 😂

She told me she had been reading some of my posts and offered to have them featured on Fatu Network.

I hadn’t asked or pitched myself.

She came across my writing, liked what she saw and decided to create an opportunity for me.

And it was a BIG one.

The Fatu Network audience is huge compared to mine.

She could have scrolled past and carried on with her day.

Instead, she thought:

“This woman could reach more people if she had the opportunity.”

And she opened the door.

And that door has already led to something I didn’t expect.

Women who had never heard of me before have started reaching out, asking questions about my work, wanting to learn more about what I do and exploring how I might be able to support them.

That’s the part that really stays with me.

One woman shared my work.

That introduced me to more women.

And some of those women may now have access to support, ideas or conversations that could genuinely help them.

All from one simple decision to say:

“Let me open this door for her.”

I haven’t forgotten that.

And one thing I’m becoming more conscious of is……..

Another woman’s success doesn’t take anything away from ours.

The woman beside you might become your next connection, collaborator, client or friend.

She might even be the person who opens a door you didn’t know existed.

I know which woman I want to be.

The one who makes another woman feel SEEN…

not the one who leaves her wondering:

“What did I do to her?”

Maybe we need fewer women asking:

“How did she get ahead?”

And more asking:

“How can I help her get there too?”

So let me ask you:

Who is the woman who opened a door for you when she didn’t have to?

And whose door could you open today?

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