Haile Selassie (Ras Tafari) Taught Me Something Interesting About Femininity

By Ramatulai

Let me take you back to Ethiopia in 1928.

Haile Selassie was still known as Ras Tafari and was trying to bring more control to Ethiopia.

But there was an older and very powerful man called Dejazmach Balcha Safo.

Balcha was a famous warrior and governor of Sidamo. He was strong, proud and did not believe this young, quiet Ras Tafari had what it took to lead him.

So when Ras Tafari asked him to come to Addis Ababa, Balcha did not come quietly.

He came with thousands of armed men and camped outside the city.

Basically, he was saying:

“You want me? Come and get me.”

Now here is where it gets interesting.

Ras Tafari did not start shouting.

He did not try to prove that he was the bigger man.

He did not say, “Let me show this man who I am!”

Instead, he invited Balcha to a banquet at the palace.

And Balcha was so suspicious that he brought 600 armed soldiers with him.

Imagine inviting someone to dinner and they arrive with 600 bodyguards.

But Ras Tafari welcomed him calmly.

He was polite. Soft-spoken. Respectful.

He treated Balcha like an honoured guest.

Meanwhile, while Balcha was sitting at the palace thinking he had intimidated this quiet young man, Ras Tafari had already sent his people to deal with the army Balcha had left outside the city.

His army was disarmed and scattered.

And Balcha was quietly replaced as governor of Sidamo.

When he returned to his camp…

his army was gone.

The quiet man had already made his move.

And this is what fascinates me about Haile Selassie.

He was not known for being a loud, aggressive ruler.

He could be very restrained and soft-spoken.

But soft-spoken did not mean powerless.

And honestly, this is something I see in my work with high-achieving women.

Many of the women I work with have spent years being rewarded for being capable.

They know how to take charge.

Solve problems.

Speak up.

Push things forward.

Handle everything.

And sometimes, without even realising it, strength becomes the only language they know how to speak.

So when I talk about femininity, I am not talking about becoming smaller.

I am talking about having more than one way to use your power.

You don’t have to announce your strength.

You don’t have to tell everyone what you’re planning.

You don’t have to explain every decision.

You don’t have to prove that you are not a fool.

And please…

you don’t have to turn every disagreement into a TED Talk.

There is power in being warm.

There is power in being calm.

There is power in listening more than you speak.

And there is power in keeping some things to yourself.

That is not weakness.

And it certainly doesn’t mean allowing people to walk all over you.

Sometimes it is simply emotional maturity.

Femininity is not weakness.

Sometimes the softest woman in the room is the one who has the most control over herself.

And perhaps that is the question I am asking myself too:

What would change if I stopped feeling the need to prove my strength and trusted my quiet power a little more?